Friday, July 2, 2010

Dreams and Reality

So the other evening, I woke wide awake at 3 in morning and couldn't sleep. My mind was busy again. And this time, I was focusing on dance.

See, in 1996, the spring semester of my first time at college, I signed up for my first dance class (Tap) and absolutely LOVED it! Over the next 4 years, I was dancing upwards of 3 hours a day between tap, ballet and jazz and loving them all. Particularly for a girl who grew up with practically no coordination.

Then, in 1999, I married the love of my life, moved out of state and pretty much took a 10 year break from college. And dance-- at least, mostly. I took a random belly dancing class here and there.

So last fall, 2009, I enrolled at Troy University an hour up the road from home to continue my education in Art, Theatre and Dance. LOVED taking Ballet II, and this past spring, my first Contemporary dance class. But I knew then that I still couldn't spot turn.

And I discovered that at 32, I have arthritis. Alieve does wonders on that.

Anway, so the other night, up and not sleeping. When I'm thinking about the schedule of my classes for next month. I was signed up for Ballroom dance and Contemporary Dance II.

You probably noticed the 'was'. See, when I first started at Troy, my advisors told me that with a double major, my minor would never show up on my degrees. That's the dance minor. But I also know I've got about 2 years of classes left to complete that double major-- and the dance minor would add 6 classes to that already long list.

But I also realized that I have no intention of -doing- anything with a dance minor. I'm not going to go on to get a masters in dance-- I know I'm not that good of a dancer. I'm not going to be teaching tap. Or jazz. Or ballet. I have no intention of trying to be a professional dancer. IF I do teach dance, it's most likely going to be belly dance... which I'm not taking any classes in college for.

And all of that together opened my eyes to reality: I don't -need- the dance minor. I don't need the dance classes. And the two classes I was signed up for in dance are two classes that can now be used to pursue my majors.

I changed my schedule with a bit of sadness: I can accept my own limitations. And my doing so, I can pursue my strengths. So they have been replaced with Script Analysis, another art class and my last needed theatre practicum.

And this afternoon, when I checked the mail, I had an unexpected surprise in the mail.

I have been awarded the 2010-2011 John McKinley Art Scholarship at Troy! Mr. Johnson applied me for it. (:

I was so surprised to received the letter in the mail, I actually cried!

The conditions for the scholarship? Taking a full course load (which I am), maintaining good grades (which I am), being an art major (which I am) (: and, (and this part I really like), writing the sponsor of the scholarship a thank you letter (which I have just done).

And so I begin to embrace a quote my friend Jess shared yesterday:

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. - C. Jung

1 comment:

  1. I salute you for following your dreams. And congrats on the scholarship. You are most deserving of it:))

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