Friday, September 16, 2011

Investing and Nose Bleeds

When I was a little girl in the 80s, I remember reading an article about a man who took his little son to McDonald's for lunch.  Right after he paid for their meal, he said, "A little more money in my pocket."  When his son asked him what he meant, he told him that he had invested in McDonald's because he believes you should invest in the companies that you use most often.  On the one hand, it keeps them in business so that you can continue to use their product, and on the other, you get to make a little profit every time you do.

On days like today, I am reminded of this story because I always think, "I should invest in Kleenex."  Colds.

 Sinus infections.


They all mean that I go through massive amounts of tissue.  And I'm brand specific.  Kleenex is the company we use for our noses.

I'm also reminded of a phone conversation I had with my Mom after I moved away to college.  It had been several months since I'd moved out.  My Dad opened the hall closet... and asked my Mom if she was stocking up on Kleenex.  In mild confusion, she headed to the hall to see what he was talking about and discovered there were well over a dozen boxes of Kleenex stacking up.  She was in the habit of buying a box of tissue every week.  Because of me.  When I wasn't there to use them, they piled up.  They had a good laugh over it and she offered to restock my tissue supply when I came home (;

That was 16 years ago (way before the cellphone, so you know by that image I'm not the only one who stocks up on Kleenex).

When I got my own apartment, I used to have a box of tissue in every single room.  Considering it was a 1 bedroom apartment, you'd think I was decorating with them.  How could 1 woman possibly need 4 boxes of tissue?  ...Though this reminds me that until I was 20, I was dreadfully prone to nose bleeds.  Allergies would set them off.  Smoke.  Stress.  Excitement.  Nothing says social awkward like having an instant nose bleed just because you're super happy about something.

I still remember being 7 and being mildly anxious about a spelling test.  So of course, my nose responded.  I stuffed it with tissue and took my test.  When it was still bleeding 20 minutes later, my teacher told me to go to the nurse.  I told her it was almost over.  It would be done by the time I got there.  She made me go anyway.  I got just to the door of the nurse's office-- and it stopped.  So I went back to class.

I also remember the teacher who insisted that I needed to tilt my head back.  I begged her not to make me-- all you end up doing is swallowing all that blood.  I will say right now that I have -never- wanted to be a vampire, because of my nose.  When you get used to the frequent taste of pennies, the thought of having to live on it is unbearable.

Now, I only have them (meaning Kleenex boxes...not nosebleeds) in each of the bathrooms, the living room and the bedrooms.  I keep napkins in the dining room and paper towels in the kitchen (Sorry, Kleenex, but your Viva! has nothing on Brawny!).

But on days like today when allergies

and the common cold

conspire against me and I open my third box of Kleenex in the last 2 days, I can't help but think that I really should invest... and get better.

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