Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Marriage, as seen through an alarm clock

I finally figured it out.

See, when my husband and I were dating, over a decade ago, I drove to visit him in Texas.  In the early hours of the morning, while we were sleeping, I sat bolt upright in bed.  He continued to sleep.  I stood out of bed.  He continued to sleep. And I spent the next 5 minutes frantically searching for the alarm clock that was going off.  Mutedly.  Turns out, it was in the bottom of his bag, under all his clothes, behind the other side of the bed.  And he continued to sleep.

In the first year of our marriage, we both discovered that health and safety would be better served if the alarm clock was on MY side of the bed.  Why?  Because if he had to get up before me and his alarm clock went off on HIS side of the bed, and he didn't immediately address it (which he never does), I would literally leap over/on him in my half-awake attempt to get to it.

In our third year of marriage, we had our first child and had found another solution to our alarm clock issues. He started working night shifts so his alarm would go off when I wasn't home.  So if he wanted to ignore it going off every 5 minutes for the next 20, he could.  In peace.

...Except when I'm home.

When I'm home, and it goes off, even though I'm in the living room and it's all the way down the hallway in our bedroom, I get up, and go turn it off.  Then I ask him what time he intended to get up.  Sometimes it's for the time he set it.  Usually, it's a good hour or two after that.

I've never understood how he can sleep through an alarm clock.

Until today.

Today, I realized that THIS is his internal clock:


Mine, on the other hand, means that most mornings, I wake up just before the alarm clock goes off because I hear the shifting of the gears that means it -going- to ring.  My internal clock is also set to go off with the first rays of sunlight...  And the slightest noise that is out of place...  And any source of bright light...even if that light is creeping under the doors and I have my back to it.

So what I also realized is that MY internal clock is set like this:


If our alarm clocks could speak, first, they would say


Then they'd start telling you stories about how we're a classic case of


But they've only seen us when we're in bed together doing what comes naturally:

We were all thinking 'sleeping', right? (;

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I =love= 'The Princess Bride' !

Today, I saw the most wonderful image shared on facebook for the Princess Bride Reunion:


As I absolutely adore this movie, (It's in my top 2 favorites, right there with 'The Labyrinth'), it immediate sent me on a web search where I found 2 wonderful videos about the 24 year reunion.




There are SO many memorable and quotable moments in this movie!

I'd be inclined to subdivide 'Monsters' into "Shrieking Eels and R.O.U.S.es"
Speaking of R.O.U.S.es...


As the large yellow section in that first graph above can tell you,  there are a lot of kissing parts.

Well...there are a lot of kissing parts if you're a sick little boy or a tiny kitten, anyway.
While searching on the wonderful world wide web, I came across this original poster:

Because, really, who wants ho-hum fairytales?
I've also decided if I can't find this map, I'm, going to have to make myself one.

Heck, I might even need to make it a mural in one of my boy's rooms!
I have to admit, I was astounded by the sheer volume of entertaining graphs created by fans of this movie.

He -might- kill you if you have 5 fingers per hand, but 'Whoa, Buddy!' if you have 6 on your right, you're a goner!
Montoya is definitely one of my favorite characters (Okay, who am I kidding?  They're ALL my favorites!)  But Montoya gets all sorts of fun tributes.



And still more graphs (:

Ah, the witty repartee between Wesley and Montoya regarding masks!

They completely fail to take into account Iocane powder...
I would like to point out that response #3 leads -directly- to response #2...by your cowardly opposition!  Ha-HA!
Speaking of Pain:



While I was researching, I discovered that they made a video game!!


Now I just have to find it...since it came out in 2008.
After this post, I'm thinking my husband will be inclined to make me a shirt like this:

Okay, maybe -I- just really want it (;
Although there are a lot of AWESOME t-shirts for Princess Bride out there!

No, for my husband, I'll share this one:

Because he's an avid Star Wars fan...and this is gonna drive him nuts...and make me giggle ((:
When I saw this one, 



I was reminded that the Dothan Peanut Festival is right around the corner!

And for the final image:

I would completely play this game!
...Take a wild guess what I'm going to be watching with my little boys this evening.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Confabulation

I learned a new word tonight!

And it's the perfect word for the following memories:

When I was five or six, I remember being absolutely convinced that our heads (meaning our skulls) were full of hair.  Since our heads are only so big, they could only hold so much.  And the reason men went bald is that they were continually cutting their hair, getting closer and closer to the last of it, until one day, they emptied their head of hair and ran out.

About a year or two later, my sister and I were watching our mother shave her legs.  We were very excited and  looking forward to the day we would have hair on our legs...  We had a conversation about how we would be able to french braid it and put little bows in it, if we wanted to.

So did you figure out what 'Confabulation' means?

It's making up stories for what we don't know or don't remember, that we accept as facts.

And this is where I get a cookie for not taking a pot shot at the news media or the government.

(Okay, maybe I couldn't -completely- resist....)