Wednesday, June 27, 2012
There's Nothing Wrong With Being Happily Married
This post is inspired by Getting Married and Other Mistakes by Barbara Slate. This graphic novel offers a raw, yet humorous look at what happens to Jo after a surprise divorce. Join From Left to Write on Thursday, June 28 as we discuss Getting Married and Other Mistakes by Barbara Slate. I received a review copy of the graphic novel and all opinions are my own.
You can get a copy of your own from their facebook affiliate.
I have to admit, when I saw that From Left to Write would be reviewing our first graphic novel-- I jumped at the chance! And it's a good light touch at the subject. But this isn't a review. It's an inspiration.
And in the last two months, I have been privy to many a conversation with happily single friends. Or happily divorced friends.
Or working on their way to being divorced friends.
Or unhappily married friends....
And the general consensus is always that:
It's better to be single or divorced than unhappily married!
And I agree. That's an absolutely true statement.
But as someone who's been married for well over a decade, I would like to point out:
*There's nothing wrong with being happily married!*
My little boys ask me all the time, "Momma, whose your best friend?"
My response has always been, "I married him."
And I promise-- that, right there, makes all the difference in the world.
Long, long ago, as we were getting ready to be married, my mother and I made my wedding dress. As we were working on it, she asked me how he proposed. I stopped sewing. Looked up at her with a blank look on my face. Looked over at Mark. He looked at me. We had a moment of shrugging. And I looked backed at her and stammered, "....um....He...didn't....We both, just (shrug) ...assumed." With a quick glance back to him and he nodded.
Then there was setting up the 20-questions meeting with the pastor. He warned us to set aside 2 to 4 hours to go through all the questions in the book. So we did. When we showed up, he opened it up, leaned over, read in the book and asked, "So, how long have you known each other?"
Again, I looked at Mark and he looked at me and I said, "Seven years? Eight?" Mark confirmed the eight...
And the pastor closed that big book of questions and said, "Whelp, we're all done here. You're obviously not rushing into anything and clearly know plenty about each other." And that was the end of that.
I'm not saying it's always wonderful. (You have arguments and disagreements with your best friend too, after all!)
But what I -am- saying is that being friends has always meant it's worth it.
And yes, I love my husband. And I love being intimate with my husband. But I also enjoy sitting with him to watch a movie. Or read a good book. Or play with the kids. Or joke. Or -just- -hang- -out-.
Marriage isn't for everyone.
And it doesn't have to be.
But it's still the right choice for some of us.
And that's perfectly alright as well.