It's been a while since the last time I shared any of my dreams here to my blog. The one I had last night has stuck with me all day, and I came home with the feeling this one needed to be shared.
Last night I dreamed that I was a teenaged boy named Jack. I lived happily with my mother and three step siblings (two brothers and a sister) on the surface of a giant.
My mother was his wife. My siblings were biologically his children, though none of them had the same birth mother, and all of them called my mother, "Mom". I was the odd duck out, as my mother had born me to a mortal man in a previous marriage. But they all loved me as one of their own anyway, and I loved them. We were family.
We lived on the chest of the giant, over his heart, and that steady rumble was the comforting music that lulled me to sleep at night.
I discovered my mother was cheating on the giant, and it made me so furious that I ran away from home. The most terrifying part was when I reached the edge of the heartbeat and had to step out into land without. I had learned to walk on that steady rhythm. I had learned to crawl upon it as well. And now I was taking my first step without it. The anticipation of the action was worse than the actual outcome, and I quickly got used to it.
As I travelled, I realized that above the giant's heart was like a mountain retreat in the midst of a suburb that was the rest of his chest.
When I entered the dark of his arm pit, I realized it wasn't all good. This was a den of crime, prostitution, and drug addiction. But at the center of it, where echoes of his heartbeat could still be heard, there was a medical clinic run by a young doctor. He treated his patients with care, kindness and respect, recognizing the humanity within them despite their current seedier occupations.
He was in love with the giant, but the giant was heterosexual, and would never be more than a dear friend. The giant cared for him, and that was enough for the doctor. And so at night, he was comforted by the echoes of a heartbeat I had always previously taken for granted.
I continued to explore the lands and typography of the giant and was around his left knees when the news broke of my mother's infidelity. I was furious at her for hurting him, swearing I would never forgive her.
I was approaching his ankle when I learned that the giant was heart broken. But not from my mother's actions. He recognized that mortal women needed more, that only mortal men could provide, and sincerely wished her the best.
No, he was heart broken that I had left. He loved me and raised me as one of his own, and he thought I had left because of him.
As I desperately made my way back, his body was covered in sickness. Apathy filled cities that had previously been filed with light. Anger and chaos ruled previously happy and productive streets. The citizens/ denizens of the giant were affected by the sadness and sickness creeping into his heart as he mourned my loss, my betrayal.
I rushed back to the home I had always known, empty and barren now. Looking for my mother. Looking for my siblings. But they were gone, with no more trace than I had left them.
As I sank to my knees crying, I realized that I was truly alone. The heartbeat that symbolized home...had not beat once since I'd been there. Spending so much time away from it, I hadn't immediately noticed its lack. But now I was acutely aware of it. I would never hear it again.
I woke up mourning.