One of the exercises for "The Artist's Way" last month was to write a letter to ourselves, at eighty, looking back with advise to us now, but we were instructed not to read our morning pages back.
Today, I was finally allowed to start reading my morning pages, and realize that future me is going to be wise, and funny, and worth sharing.
So here is 80 year old Janin writing back:
Play with the boys more and try to be less critical. You don't always have to have the last word. And they're out of here so fast and on to lives of their own. Remind them they are always welcome back. Build the good memories. I still turn to them and smile.
Don't worry so much about everything. Things will happen as they ought. Even the bad things. You will change what you can; and what you can't will draw you closer to those you love - And they to you.
Stop hesitating! Adore that woman's outfit- let her know! That's one more smile today, and believe it or not, but a doorway to new friends.
Remember the Roustabouts. Robin had it right. In this world, we all need more, "Yes, and" and much less, "No, but." Teach this to your boys. They'll thank you for it.
Make love to Mark every opportunity you get! That man is a god of a lover! And once the boys move out, celebrate together with nude dancing, rechristening all the rooms and moving furniture around. I love the upstairs studio!
Keep in touch with those who matter. Take the time to sit down and figure out who that is. You'll know. It's worth it. I promise.
And if your heart tells you that you need a barefoot moment alone with the moon, the trees, the sun - take it. It's good to be reminded we are both insignificantly small and infinitely all encompassing.
And know that I love you. And forgive you. Forgive me.
We're human, you and I. We're going to make mistakes. It up to you to own up to them and set them right. For both of us.
I'm counting on you.